Friday, December 12, 2014
Suicides
So this past week I've had two adults in my life who have had rough weeks because they found out that previous 'students' of theirs had committed suicide. As someone who has contemplated suicide and dealt with depression myself, I understand what it's like. It's the worst thing a person can feel. I want anyone who is struggling with depression and/or contemplating suicide to know that it does get better. There are people out there who truly know and understand how you feel. I was lucky enough to have one of my best friends help me through that time in my life and it brought me closer to them. Anyone who isn't dealing with depression, and anyone who is, watch your friends. Pay attention to their moods and know the signs of depression. Sometimes the people who struggle are the people you least expect. I know it sounds like something we're told in class, but usually all someone needs is a friend. Someone to listen to them and help them. Don't take happiness for granted and be there for others who need you.
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I've been in the same spot dreamer. Please please PLEASE if you have thoughts of suicide get help. I know they seem normal but they're not. They really aren't.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get help for too long because I didn't think I had a reason to be depressed. Depression doesn't need a reason. It just happens.
It's like bad eyesight. You can't see any good in the world and it's awful! And medicine can help! It's like glasses and let's you see things for what they really are.
Please please if you think that maybe POSSIBLY you could be depressed, get help! No one deserves to feel the way I had felt.
I hid mine for too long as well. I finally got help and I'm in a pretty good place at this point.
DeleteI just know that I hear people in the hallways telling people to go kill themselves and that it makes me angry. People don't know how serious depression is or how many people are affected by it. Someone who tells someone else to kill themselves is breaking a law and could push someone over the edge. It breaks my heart to hear stuff like this and I want people to know that there are people in this school who actually care and who have survived this depression stuff before. It's not easy. It is one of the hardest things you can do, but it is worth it in the end.
Oh thank god, and I did mean everyone who's struggling should seek help. And then when people say someones exaggerating depression I can't help but shudder. I don't think people understand how awful it is
DeleteAs someone who is going through depression, I fully understand. Every night, before i sleep, I say to myself "kill yourself". Every night. I've attempted suicide before, got one of my ties, wrapped it around my neck so that I couldn't breath, opened up my window and shut it on the tie to make it tighter, and waited for the greatest of days to come, the days after my death. As you can see, i didn't go through with it. The tightness of the tie popped blood vessels in my neck and head. Afterwards I felt like pure crap. I still wanted to kill myself, contemplating it for weeks. I still think about killing myself, I come to school thinking "Why don't I just fall from the top of the stairwell? Have my body splat against the ground? End it, right here, right now, end this suffering." but I don't. Video gaming keeps me going. Having fun keeps me going. But I don't know for how long though. I am getting "help" for my "sickness" and it seems to be working.One thing that really gets me is that I can't express my Sexuality. If you didn't know, which you highly likely didn't, i'm bi-sexual. The fear of people like me is ridiculous. What's so wrong with me? Todays society is a lot more acceptable of these things and I guess that's why I decided to say that I am bi-sexual. I even put it in the yearbook for everyone to see. Some writers for the Yearbook came to my second hour class and asked for me and a few others to write down six words for the dictionary and I said "I'm bi-sexual, get used to it". It felt great writing it. I just wish I could do that more often.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're getting help. The people who offer help don't always seem like they're helping but, looking back, you will see how much they can help if you listen to them. If you're ever feeling stuck, let me know. I can listen or give you advise or whatever you need. If you would like to talk in person, I'm sure we could meet somewhere to talk about things. I hope that one day I could be the person who keeps someone going through their hard times, just like the person that was there for me. That person told me that talking helps. At first, I didn't believe them. I never talked about my problems. One day, they got me to open up, and I felt so much better. If someone cares enough to make sure you're okay, they won't feel that your problems are a burden to them. I was constantly worried about that, but they always wanted to know what was wrong, what the details were, and what they could do to help me. Now I talk to them all the time about my problems. Having outlets for your frustrations and your problems helps exponentially. For me, it was having someone to talk to and listening to music. I can't say that I'm perfect now, I just have developed better ways of expressing my sadness and problems than self harm and suicide attempts. I hope that your recovery goes as well as possible, however don't expect it to be quick or easy. DON'T GIVE UP. Life is worth it, I promise.
DeleteI'm so glad you're getting help! And it sounds like we were in similar spots, but the medicine I've been taking has helped so. much. And about being bi, good for you! If people ridicule you, they aren't worth your time. From my paper I've found that the whole idea that being gay or bi is strange is, to be quite honest, one of the biggest lies of human history. I know it's hard but don't listen to those who're judgmental. They aren't worth your energy. Anyone who hates you for who you love is a moron. Love is love and love is good!
DeleteThank you guys. What you such said means a lot to me now.
DeleteNo problem :) Stay safe, though! Depression makes people stupid, so try and remember people really do care about you! And the people recovering gotta help each other out, right?
DeleteGotcha!
DeleteI don't check blogger that much and I want you to know that what you all put down here honestly made me tear up.No one should ever have to go through this pain that you all have felt. Reading about your attempted suicide made me feel in a way I can not express. Y'all are the strongest people I have ever read about and I want you all to know that you shouldn't be in this place. I know that is phrased funny but you all are beautiful vibrant creatures. (Not creatures in a bad way.)
ReplyDeleteI want to share a quick quote that I have loved ever since I hear in on one of my favorite TV shows,''
You're a wild flower.
Wild flowers... they grow on the desert. The most horrible place on the planet, because they save their strength and they wait for the rain to come, and they reach for the sun and they bloom.
And that's what you're gonna do, you're gonna bloom.''
This quote is so beautiful because it is true.
Love yourself and cherish your being.
That is absolutely beautiful.
DeleteI agree with what you said about just needing a friend in these tough times. I recently lost some of my closest friends. Most of the pain I felt for weeks was loneliness. We do not need someone constantly at our side knowing our every move, but when someone is taken out of your life whom you used to share all your problems with is gone, who are you supposed to talk to? When someone does express to me that they are always there to comfort me if need be, it gives me a sense of relief. I was never really alone, there were other friends who have been very helpful. Never underestimate the effects of a friendship.
ReplyDeleteI feel you! 110% do. I have struggles in my life that I feel are unimportant to tell people so they build up inside and it makes me seem like I'm a really mean person, lots of people are afraid to talk to me but honestly I would never hurt anybody--intentionally at least. I've never been in a fight, I've always been there for people who actually talk to me and I help them through. A lot of people think I'm going to hurt them or something? I don't know. The most trouble I've ever gotten was three days off the bus and it was because someone lied about something and made me get in trouble. I'm stil struggling with finding help. Most people say go to your parents-- I can't. myy parents have their own problems like possibly a divorce soon. Some people say go to your friends-- I can't. They have their own pat to walk on. So what I try to do to cope with everything, is I go to church twice a week, Sunday and Wednesday. Because I have faith. I have hope. I try and try and try and try to believe there's a God looking out for me. I think so too, I haven't killed myself or anything. Ever since I've been going to church I've been praying like crazy, just to keep me going. Honestly, if you ever need me or anyone at all? There's an amazing church called O'Fallon Christian Church (OCC) located on Veterans Memorial and on Sunday's we meet at 9:00 a.m. and food is provided, and on Wednesday's we meet at 6:00p.m. It'd be amazing if you showed up, and maybe we can talk. Because even though I have mo clue who you are, I care. I want to help you through this struggle and two is better than one. Trust me, I know.
ReplyDelete