Sunday, February 22, 2015
Slut Shaming
So it's 8:30 on a Sunday night and while most people are glued to the TV watching the Oscars, I'm fighting with my boyfriend about feminism. I had an issue with the way he approached me about societal views on women a couple days ago, teenage girls in particular, so I confronted him about it tonight. So now, he keeps trying to shove this "You know it's harder for guys to get girls, so they should get praised for getting with a bunch of them," idea down my throat. He actually just made a comment like, "If a girl has sex with a bunch of guys, that's disgusting. I'm sorry if that offends you but its most definitely a popular opinion." So me, thinking on my feet, completely reversed the roles in the same exact sentence and sent it back to him. Now he's taking this all as a big joke and decides to go on telling me how outrageous I'm being. Is he being ignorant, or is it just me? Thoughts?
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I was watching The Walking Dead though. Could you please rephrase this just for the people out there like me.
ReplyDeleteIt has nothing to do with the Oscars.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to be angry-- my god, I would break up with him if I were you! He is being more than ignorant, he is being part of the problem.
Harder for guys to get girls? Oh, sure. SURE. SURRRRRRE!
This right here shows me he is, please excuse me if you two are very close, completely ignorant, sexist, and just plain ass stupid. I don't even know how you'd make that argument!
Just turn on Fox on Sunday nights and or watch any program Seth McFarland is behind. Look at Peter Griffin compared to Lois. Peter is a fat, stupid, and rude slob. He barely does his job, is a horrible father and husband, and gets drunk every night. He spends all his time out with friends and never at home with his wife. He never cooks or cleans or anything! Why? Lois is expected to do it. She's thin, the show is CONSTANTLY saying she's hot, she came from a rich family (which shouldn't have any impact on true love) cooks breakfast every morning, and tolerates all of Peter's antics.
Nash Grier is opposed to girls having so much as peach fuzz.
The world sobbed saying Angelina Jolie would no longer be a sex symbol as she had a double mastectomy yet they worshiped Lance Armstrong for having his testes removed.
Beauty and the Beast is centered around a beautiful female falling in love with an ugly male.
It's "rude and unattractive" for women to crack dirty jokes, eat gross foods, laugh about farts, do silly things, and just relax and have fun, but if a man does it, he's a fun guy.
Dear god, I express these opinions and people think I'm insane but if a guy did it he'd be a hero!
Girls should look attractive every day of the year when guys never have to and yet we are ridiculed for wearing make up-- even if it's just for us-- because we're "lying to guys."
How dare he say it's easier for girls to get a guy! Any girl who likes guys who reads this knows how it feels to think you're too smart, too stupid, too boring, too passionate, too tall, too short, too thin, too fat, with hair too short or too long or too thin, to have a nose that's too big, to have a voice too deep or too high, to sit down believing a guy will never like you because you aren't a barbie doll and if you are you instantly become fake or plastic.
And if he says it's harder because women reject men and that's wrong, it's passed slut shaming! Slut shaming is awful but he would have done something far worse-- he's normalizing rape!
Women have no obligation to say yes to men!
And if women aren't supposed to have sex who are men having sex with? Are we just objects-- just china or blow up dolls-- to do nothing but display or use for pleasure? Are we not their equals?
I'm sorry, but he is a pig, and the worst part is if he read my speech, I would just be a crazy bitch.
This is just great! I was going to respond....but this says it all.
DeleteThere is definitely a double standard that has existed for quite a while now, but I think that when young women recognize this and "call" friends and acquaintances on its existence, awareness is raised and thinking changes. Good for you for having this dialogue with your boyfriend. I'm sure he's a lovely person--but he needs to hear some different perspectives!
ReplyDeleteWe really shouldn't use profanity on the blog, though, but otherwise, well-written, marginsandink.
ReplyDeleteThis kind of ignorance blows my mind. You definitely are not overreacting. Your boyfriend's refusal to acknowledge the double standard is one example of why feminism is still relevant and alive.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I don't know what to say. I'm so frustrated that the words just aren't coming.
I also wouldn't advocate promiscuity for any person--respect for self and others is healthy.
ReplyDeleteI also wouldn't advocate promiscuity for any person--respect for self and others is healthy.
ReplyDeleteI have been in your exact same position myself. I feel like guys tend to be so closed minded when it comes to topics such as these. It's either their way or no way at all. Not saying that all guys are like that because they arent! But I totally see where your coming from. It is as if girls have zero respect in our society and we are punished daily for it. So what if a girl has had more than one guy in her life? That in no way should depict her character... or better yet make her a slut. Guys get so much praise for being with a variety of girls that its cool to be a "player" but if a girl does the same then they are immediately penalized for it. Just goes to show how wacked out our society is today...
ReplyDeleteI have been in your exact same position myself. I feel like guys tend to be so closed minded when it comes to topics such as these. It's either their way or no way at all. Not saying that all guys are like that because they arent! But I totally see where your coming from. It is as if girls have zero respect in our society and we are punished daily for it. So what if a girl has had more than one guy in her life? That in no way should depict her character... or better yet make her a slut. Guys get so much praise for being with a variety of girls that its cool to be a "player" but if a girl does the same then they are immediately penalized for it. Just goes to show how wacked out our society is today...
ReplyDeleteWe are all entitled to our own opinions and our opinions alone. So you can try to change his mind about the matter, but its ultimately his decision. Personally, I think he wasn't saying that he supported that view. I think he was trying to say what society tended to view women as.
ReplyDeleteI Would Of been just as upset as you. How can a guy and and a girl do a similar thing and one gets praised and the other gets frowned upon. Its like saying a guy got a B on a Test and so did a girl and the boy got praised because "boys arn't smart" and the girl got told she could do better and it wasn't that good.
ReplyDeleteI honestly don't understand why people cannot wrap their head around the concept of any person being equal to another. It frustrates THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME. Its not any of his business what another girl does with her body, just like it's no one else's business what he does with his. For him to say that it's "harder for a guy to get a girl" let me tell you it's definitely not, but what is hard to come by these days is a man who is willing to put all of the egotistical ignorant things said by people around them to understand that WOMEN ARE PEOPLE TOO. honestly teenage boys now a days are too immature for sex anyways if they can't get these things through their head. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree
DeleteYour boyfriend seems to be suffering from a major case of ignorance. The idea of a double standard being welcomed by people such as him is nothing short of shameful to the male gender. This isn't you, its him. He follows what others have said blindly, not thinking about it and has made a outright fool of himself.
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend seems to be suffering from a major case of ignorance. The idea of a double standard being welcomed by people such as him is nothing short of shameful to the male gender. This isn't you, its him. He follows what others have said blindly, not thinking about it and has made a outright fool of himself.
ReplyDelete